Surprisingly, parenting seems to come naturally to us. As for myself, the transition has been good and natural. We moved "Junior" in on Saturday then had my sister and her 3 year old daughter over. My niece had been insistent we were getting a baby boy because all children arrive as babies according to her 3 year old mind. She was excited to meet her new cousin, but was surprised at how big he was - he's 12 years old and 5 foot 4 inches. My niece stood in front of him and stared up for awhile. She quickly warmed up to Junior when he played his clarinet so she could dance. Now every time she sees Junior she says, "That's my new cousin" with a big grin on her face.
He unpacked and got settled in his new bedroom. Saturday night we played a game of Monopoly in which Junior won fantastically.
Our 13 year old cat, Izzy who does not like strangers has quickly tolerated Junior. She will allow him to pet her and even pick her up. The first two nights, she would stare at his bedroom door after he went to sleep.
I introduced Junior to the church family Sunday morning and the church ladies gushed over him. Being an outgoing child, he was okay with the gushing. In the afternoon we walked through the neighborhood to my sister's house and played with my niece and watched a movie after Junior and Mike got the television rebooted from Saturday night's power outage. We also visited Ken from church and Junior got to climb his big tree.
Monday I spent calling caseworkers and making appointments. I made his first doctor appointment just to get a base line and a physical in case he chose to place sports this year. The child is going to have three caseworkers this year - two through DFCS (DSHS) and one through our private agency. He has a caseworker in his original county and he will have a courtesy caseworker locally who will do the monthly visits. We walked downtown and got Junior his library card; we have our priorities! We showed him the route from our house to the path down the hill then the street up to the library. We worked on basic House Rules and consequences for disobeying the rules. Junior had input on the rules on consequences. We must have worn him out because he slept more than 12 hours.
Tuesday I had to work for a couple hours in the field and Mike had a dental appointment. He took Junior with him to the dentist's office since it overlapped with my meeting. Then I dropped of the school registration paperwork - LOTS of paperwork. School orientation is Thursday morning. I am a mom of a 7th grader! The world of middle school will open up our world. We have most of his school supplies and need to get a few school clothes.
Today was a visit with one of the caseworkers and a visit to Junior's new doctor. Then we walked the Huff N' Puff Trail. We make sure our son gets plenty of physical activity. We are still working on finding kids for Junior to play with so he doesn't have to hang out with just us "old folk". School doesn't start until after Labor Day and the church youth group starts up again mid-September.
We have not even completed the first week!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Family Keeps Growing
We met a delightful young man this weekend and he will join our family next weekend. It was a joy meeting his biological family and his foster family and we welcome them as part of our extended family! While they will not see their family member as often as they are use to, we plan to stay connected because we are now family - this child connects us forever.
It was a whirlwind weekend meeting our son and spending time getting to know each other. We return later this week to spend more time with him and his family before we move him to our home. There is so much to do before the move - travel plans, clean out his room, stock groceries for a growing boy, contact the school for registration, find medical and dental providers, line up counseling (if we can arrange before the move), contact the church youth leader, make arrangements at work for my time off. We need to create a binder for him for all the DSHS forms that are required for a foster child. There are sooooooo many forms we have been provided and so much we have to track. I do not want to get lost in the paperwork; I want to enjoy our time with with our son. While it is a blessing to have this long awaited for placement, we still need to rely on the Lord for strength, discernment, wisdom and peace during the transition. It will not be easy for the young man to move from the only town and people he has known to a new town, new home, new family, new church, new school and new friends.
Patience will be needed during the bonding process. It may take a while (several months or more than a year) to really bond as a family, but God's hand will guide us and His love is stronger than our love. The scriptures I have relied on during the waiting and matching period still ring true during this transition.
It is amazing how God has blessed the union of our families (biological, foster, and foster-adopt) to provide for the needs of this wonderful young man. May the Lord's love reign over us all as we create a larger family through love of a child. "The greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13
Habakkuk 2:3 RSV
"For still the vision awaits its time; it hastens to the end -- it will not lie. If it seem slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay."
Psalm 39:7 NRS
"And now, O Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you."
Daniel 2:21b-23a NIV
"...he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors; You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you..."
It was a whirlwind weekend meeting our son and spending time getting to know each other. We return later this week to spend more time with him and his family before we move him to our home. There is so much to do before the move - travel plans, clean out his room, stock groceries for a growing boy, contact the school for registration, find medical and dental providers, line up counseling (if we can arrange before the move), contact the church youth leader, make arrangements at work for my time off. We need to create a binder for him for all the DSHS forms that are required for a foster child. There are sooooooo many forms we have been provided and so much we have to track. I do not want to get lost in the paperwork; I want to enjoy our time with with our son. While it is a blessing to have this long awaited for placement, we still need to rely on the Lord for strength, discernment, wisdom and peace during the transition. It will not be easy for the young man to move from the only town and people he has known to a new town, new home, new family, new church, new school and new friends.
Patience will be needed during the bonding process. It may take a while (several months or more than a year) to really bond as a family, but God's hand will guide us and His love is stronger than our love. The scriptures I have relied on during the waiting and matching period still ring true during this transition.
It is amazing how God has blessed the union of our families (biological, foster, and foster-adopt) to provide for the needs of this wonderful young man. May the Lord's love reign over us all as we create a larger family through love of a child. "The greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13
Habakkuk 2:3 RSV
"For still the vision awaits its time; it hastens to the end -- it will not lie. If it seem slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay."
Psalm 39:7 NRS
"And now, O Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you."
Daniel 2:21b-23a NIV
"...he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors; You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you..."
Friday, August 10, 2012
It's a Boy!
Yes, we are meeting our son this weekend! We found out this morning about a young man needing a home and by noon we were asked to make a trip to visit this weekend. So tomorrow morning we drive several hours to meet him and his foster family. We will spend the weekend getting to know him and him getting to know us. Mike and I will return home Monday then go back to pick up our son Thursday evening to bring him home.
While we are excited, this is a major change for this young man and for the foster family he has been with since entering care. I pray his foster family will remain a resource after the transition and be a support to our son.
So many emotions and questions and thoughts are running through me right now. It may be a while before motherhood actually sinks in as reality.
With the Lord's help, we will become the family we all dream about.
While we are excited, this is a major change for this young man and for the foster family he has been with since entering care. I pray his foster family will remain a resource after the transition and be a support to our son.
So many emotions and questions and thoughts are running through me right now. It may be a while before motherhood actually sinks in as reality.
With the Lord's help, we will become the family we all dream about.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Matching Process
We are in the unique matching process of trying to find our forever child. We have inquired on 16 youth so far, all age 10 to 17. One youth has been placed with his forever family. Another youth, we reviewed his file after talking with his caseworker and decided we were not a match. We are being considered for a third youth. There are many steps before we know if the youth's caseworker thinks we are a potential match then we have to review the disclosure file to decide if we want to continue forward.
Last weekend I read an article that some families have to inquire about 100 children/youth before they are matched. Others have had to inquire on 30 children/youth a month for several months until they are contacted about their match. While we have inquired about 16 and have eliminated two so far, waiting to find out more information about one, there are 13 others on our list that we are still waiting to hear about. This could be a long drawn out process as matching could take several months then we need to meet our child. Our caseworker is hoping to hear from the caseworkers of the other youth within the next two weeks, if we are going to hear from them.
Patience and prayers are still needed as we slowly work through this process.
Habakkuk 2:3 RSV
"For still the vision awaits its time; it hastens to the end--it will not lie. If it seem slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay."
Psalm 39:7 NRS
"And now, O Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you."
Daniel 2:21b-23a NIV
"...he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you..."
Last weekend I read an article that some families have to inquire about 100 children/youth before they are matched. Others have had to inquire on 30 children/youth a month for several months until they are contacted about their match. While we have inquired about 16 and have eliminated two so far, waiting to find out more information about one, there are 13 others on our list that we are still waiting to hear about. This could be a long drawn out process as matching could take several months then we need to meet our child. Our caseworker is hoping to hear from the caseworkers of the other youth within the next two weeks, if we are going to hear from them.
Patience and prayers are still needed as we slowly work through this process.
Habakkuk 2:3 RSV
"For still the vision awaits its time; it hastens to the end--it will not lie. If it seem slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay."
Psalm 39:7 NRS
"And now, O Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you."
Daniel 2:21b-23a NIV
"...he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you..."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)