When people find out we adopted a teenager, they always ask if we are having any problems. I admit, teens, in general, adopted or not, struggle through life trying to assert independence and determine identity. Adoption adds more layers to this struggle. I have a well adjusted 14 year old, almost 15 year old. He loves video games and band. He enjoys socializing, dislikes chores, enjoys sleeping in, trips over his own feet, and only listens to mom when I use my "listen to me now" tone of voice. He is messy, does not care what he wears (holes and frayed hems), is loyal to his friends, loves his family, is gentle with cats, is polite to strangers and elders, and treats his best friend like a brother.
Some teens don't want others to know they are adopted. We were talking the other morning and he says he lets everyone know about his adoption. He is comfortable with who he is and how he fits into our family. He is comfortable with how our family fits with his biological family. At 14, I sure was not comfortable with who I was, though I knew how I fit into my family. He is doing well in school. He is involved in wonderful extracurricular activities, many that he can continue into adulthood. He is self confident including able to give a speech to a few hundred people.
During the adoption process, we and our son attended counseling to smooth the transition. Also, he met with his Guardian Ad Litum (GAL) who has known him from infancy. The counselors and the GAL all stated our son was resilient and able to adjust to life very well. I pray this ability continues through his teens and adulthood. Resiliency is more than coping, it is the ability to deal with whatever life throws at you; many adults struggle with this skill, my teen possesses it already.
I have a happy, well-adjusted teenage son. We are blessed to be a family.