We are moving into a more realistic pattern of life and out of the honeymoon stage. Junior has become comfortable enough with us to mildly challenge bed times or even lose his temper at school requiring a call home from the teacher. He is learning to take responsibility for his action. During all of this I keep thinking of Junior's birth parents and how they have made choices which led to them missing so many years of his life. I am working to develop a relationship with Junior's birth parents as they should still be connected to Junior, in whatever form that takes after the adoption.
We are working with Junior to help him understand how his early childhood is connected to living with us; there are connections missing, gaps in his understanding of how each phase is connected. Then we add puberty, teen hormones and the restructuring of the brain to complicate Junior's understanding. The kid has a lot going on so it is amazing he is doing so well. He is caring, can be considerate, is gentle, friendly, helpful, funny, curious and precious.
Many people have asked me how long it will be until we finalize the adoption. I expect it will be next September, maybe later before we get to finalize and make Junior our legal son. Regardless, he is our son, we are his parents. He may not call us Mom and Dad right now, but we are parents in every sense of the word. We make sure he attends school, we feed him, we take him to appointments, we take him to church, we are silly together, we discipline him, we fix his scraped knees, we get the calls from the school when he is disciplined, we receive the praise from others who tell us Junior is a great kid, and we rejoice in the wonderful being God has created we call Junior. Yes, I have a 3-inch binder with large quantities of information on Junior I have to maintain. Yes, we have month visits with caseworkers and with birth parents. Yes, we have to report Junior's happenings to his social worker. Yes, I have several forms I have to fill out each month. We knew this was required when we became foster parents. What we did not know was who our child was going to be. It has now been two months to the day (August 18) since Junior moved in; I will be forever grateful for the leap of faith we took when we said we would meet Junior on August 10. Even if finalization is nearly a year away, we are living as a family, enjoying our time together and helping Junior develop into a young man of faith, integrity and courage. I love our son!
Showing posts with label birth family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birth family. Show all posts
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Family Keeps Growing
We met a delightful young man this weekend and he will join our family next weekend. It was a joy meeting his biological family and his foster family and we welcome them as part of our extended family! While they will not see their family member as often as they are use to, we plan to stay connected because we are now family - this child connects us forever.
It was a whirlwind weekend meeting our son and spending time getting to know each other. We return later this week to spend more time with him and his family before we move him to our home. There is so much to do before the move - travel plans, clean out his room, stock groceries for a growing boy, contact the school for registration, find medical and dental providers, line up counseling (if we can arrange before the move), contact the church youth leader, make arrangements at work for my time off. We need to create a binder for him for all the DSHS forms that are required for a foster child. There are sooooooo many forms we have been provided and so much we have to track. I do not want to get lost in the paperwork; I want to enjoy our time with with our son. While it is a blessing to have this long awaited for placement, we still need to rely on the Lord for strength, discernment, wisdom and peace during the transition. It will not be easy for the young man to move from the only town and people he has known to a new town, new home, new family, new church, new school and new friends.
Patience will be needed during the bonding process. It may take a while (several months or more than a year) to really bond as a family, but God's hand will guide us and His love is stronger than our love. The scriptures I have relied on during the waiting and matching period still ring true during this transition.
It is amazing how God has blessed the union of our families (biological, foster, and foster-adopt) to provide for the needs of this wonderful young man. May the Lord's love reign over us all as we create a larger family through love of a child. "The greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13
Habakkuk 2:3 RSV
"For still the vision awaits its time; it hastens to the end -- it will not lie. If it seem slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay."
Psalm 39:7 NRS
"And now, O Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you."
Daniel 2:21b-23a NIV
"...he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors; You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you..."
It was a whirlwind weekend meeting our son and spending time getting to know each other. We return later this week to spend more time with him and his family before we move him to our home. There is so much to do before the move - travel plans, clean out his room, stock groceries for a growing boy, contact the school for registration, find medical and dental providers, line up counseling (if we can arrange before the move), contact the church youth leader, make arrangements at work for my time off. We need to create a binder for him for all the DSHS forms that are required for a foster child. There are sooooooo many forms we have been provided and so much we have to track. I do not want to get lost in the paperwork; I want to enjoy our time with with our son. While it is a blessing to have this long awaited for placement, we still need to rely on the Lord for strength, discernment, wisdom and peace during the transition. It will not be easy for the young man to move from the only town and people he has known to a new town, new home, new family, new church, new school and new friends.
Patience will be needed during the bonding process. It may take a while (several months or more than a year) to really bond as a family, but God's hand will guide us and His love is stronger than our love. The scriptures I have relied on during the waiting and matching period still ring true during this transition.
It is amazing how God has blessed the union of our families (biological, foster, and foster-adopt) to provide for the needs of this wonderful young man. May the Lord's love reign over us all as we create a larger family through love of a child. "The greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13
Habakkuk 2:3 RSV
"For still the vision awaits its time; it hastens to the end -- it will not lie. If it seem slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay."
Psalm 39:7 NRS
"And now, O Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you."
Daniel 2:21b-23a NIV
"...he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors; You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you..."
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