Frustrating Delays

Got a phone call I did not want to receive. Our contact at DSHS is retiring as of April 20 and the State does not know who will fill his spot. Our home study is delayed until the State decides if they will wait for the replacement to get up to speed or have a contract licensor do our home study. We will be lucky to start our home study in May. I was told we will only have one interview on the day of our inspection with the whole appointment lasting 3.5 hours. If any type of delay exists, it seems to happen to us. There are other foster parents who began the process with us in October, had their background checks processed in January and February and already have their licenses. So we wait nad have to be patient. I am doubting at this time we will have a child placed with us by the end of the year. Mother's Day will be difficult this year. Just hearing that strangers are pregnant upsets me. A dear friend begins fertility treatments this month. While I will be happy for her if she becomes pregnant, it will not be easy for me while I wait for my child. We have shared the tears and pain of infertility together and this is the year we hope to fulfill our dreams of becoming mothers. We continue to pray and wait. There will be more tears, more anger and more frustration to come, all with the hope that our dreams will come true.

Mother's Day

Tomorrow is Mother's Day 2010. It varies from year to year if the day will be difficult, just another day or a day of joy. This year is difficult. Now that we are in the middle of the adoption process, I know my child is out there, somewhere, and I do not have any information or even a photograph. We were hoping to receive our first Jamaican approval this past week, but we have to wait at least another three weeks. At that time, we will find out if there are any children available.

My sister gets to celebrate Mother's Day for the first time with her lovely child. I adore my niece and give her lots of love anytime we are together. Now I have a nephew on my husband's side to love. I adore other people's children, also, but I still have empty arms. It is not just Mother's Day, but Christmas, Halloween and Easter are now difficult as I watch the wonder of all the children around me. One family at church was able to adopt internationally in seven months and just got their sweet little girl home. I have three friends expecting babies in August, one with twins. I realize I am at an age when most of my friends are starting or expanding their families. Many of my friends who have children my age are now becoming grandparents. For now, I pray, I wait, and I lavish love on my niece and nephew. One day I will relish the joy of Mother's Day once again. At least I have a loving mother who I cherish greatly and a mother-in-law I love.