While we journey along to adopt one of God's children from Jamaica, we have decided to begin our second adoption. We feel led to provide a home to a child in the US foster care system; whomever God has chosen as our child. We will take the DSHS parenting classes this fall then submit our homestudy. I could become a mother by Mother's Day 2011. There is also the chance that we may have to wait longer than six months for a child, but at least we will have a child in our home before three years has passed. We are expecting to bring our Jamaican child home three to four years after we submit our home study.
When I spoke with Phillip at the local DSHS office on Wednesday I was excited to learn they offer straight adoption from the foster care system; we do not have to go through foster-adopt. I was on Cloud 9 for several hours. We would be matched only to children who are legally free for adoption. I have witnessed too many families experience heartache through foster-adopt. For some, the process works from them; it is not for us. These two adoptions may not be our only ones. I envision providing a family to several children through the years. We will continue this roller coaster called the Adoption Adventure.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Unknowns
Pondering if we should seriously consider starting a second adoption process, this time from the US foster care system, while we progress through the Jamaican adoption process. It may be three or more years before we bring home our Jamaican child. I can handle waiting two years for a child, but three or more I do not think I can remain motherless that long. It looks like it will be one or more years before we get matched with a child then another two years before we bring the child home. It could take several years to adopt from the foster care system, also.It is hard to watch other families get matched immediately and bring their children home in less than two years, sometimes less than one year.
Someone this weekend, possibly my sister, said, "You should have started the process sooner." That does not make enduring the process any easier. My sister endured three years of trying to get pregnant and I watched her deal with the disappointment during that time of trying. Our wait may be just as long or longer. While I won't endure month after month of disappointments, but a long time of not knowing when we get to bring our child home.
Patience - a difficult lesson that is difficult to endure when my heart longs for something that the Lord planted in my heart. I know He will follow through on his promise of children, I just do not know when the promise will be fulfilled. I continue to pray for patience and peace to endure the wait. I pray, I persevere, I endure, I do what is required to meet the adoption requirements and to prepare our home for our child. Some day I will introduce a child as "my child".
My child, I wait for the day I can hold you. The Lord has you chosen for our family. He chose us to be your parents. You are a beloved child of God and we will be blessed to be your parents. One day I will tell you, "I love you." One day I will introduce you as "my child". One I will hold you in my arms and tell you "I am proud to be your mother".
My child, I wait. I wait to see your photo for the first time. I wait to meet you. I wait to bring you home. I wait to teach you. I wait to hear you say, "I love you, mommy." I wait.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Twin Chaos
I know I am at an age when I can expect my friends and acquaintances are bearing children, but I just found out about the third set of twins among my high school classmates just this year. One man and his wife are enjoying their new fraternal twins. A woman and her husband are expecting fraternal twins this summer. A second woman and her husband are expecting twins this winter. It is hard enought to be "surrounded" by pregnant women when I can never have that experience, but TWINS! I do not know if they are natural occurances or aided by fertility drugs or treatments. Regardless of how the twins came into being, these couples are blessed greatly with children.
For now, I just pray for one child to call "son" or "daughter". Yes, we are open to adopting a sibling set, but realize we our first adoption may be a single child. There is also the chance that this may be our only adoption. Someday my arms will hold my child. The child that will test boundaries, the child that will giggle with delight at simple pleasures, the child that will break my heart and fill my heart with love. I look forward to providing a home to the imperfect child God has chosen for us to parent. My husband and I see parenting as the stewardship of God's children. All children are God's children, we are just provided the opportunity to care for them.
Lord,
Give strength to the parents when chaos and sleep deprivation reigns.
Show the children they are loved.
Give patience to men and women trying to adopt or conceive when road blocks and paperwork seem insurmountable.
Move all our hearts so we may provide for children without families and families in poverty.
Glorious amen!
For now, I just pray for one child to call "son" or "daughter". Yes, we are open to adopting a sibling set, but realize we our first adoption may be a single child. There is also the chance that this may be our only adoption. Someday my arms will hold my child. The child that will test boundaries, the child that will giggle with delight at simple pleasures, the child that will break my heart and fill my heart with love. I look forward to providing a home to the imperfect child God has chosen for us to parent. My husband and I see parenting as the stewardship of God's children. All children are God's children, we are just provided the opportunity to care for them.
Lord,
Give strength to the parents when chaos and sleep deprivation reigns.
Show the children they are loved.
Give patience to men and women trying to adopt or conceive when road blocks and paperwork seem insurmountable.
Move all our hearts so we may provide for children without families and families in poverty.
Glorious amen!
Another Step Closer
We received the draft of our home study this week. I immediately read, made some changes and sent it back to our case worker for editing. Our journey to the adoption decision condensed into 15 pages; it seemed flat; one page for each year that lead to our decision to adopt. We are limited on how long our narrative can be, but 15 pages barely touches the surface. We are on schedule to submit the final report to USCIS, just need one more letter from the doctor.
This weekend we have our first major fundraiser - Swing Night for Adoption. I have put a lot of effort into this event. There could be 25 people or 200 people. Donations for the silent auction and the raffle have been amazing! It will be a wonderful evening of swing music, dancing, sharing and excitement.
When I yearn for next week when the planning is over, I tell myself it is all to add children to our family. Independence weekend is next weekend, I will unwind for three days (catch up on sleep). One day there will be no more planning, there will be living life with children. One day there will be no more waiting and hoping, there will be chaos, love and exhaustion.
This weekend we have our first major fundraiser - Swing Night for Adoption. I have put a lot of effort into this event. There could be 25 people or 200 people. Donations for the silent auction and the raffle have been amazing! It will be a wonderful evening of swing music, dancing, sharing and excitement.
When I yearn for next week when the planning is over, I tell myself it is all to add children to our family. Independence weekend is next weekend, I will unwind for three days (catch up on sleep). One day there will be no more planning, there will be living life with children. One day there will be no more waiting and hoping, there will be chaos, love and exhaustion.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Emotional Roller Coaster
Okay, I take pride in being a calm, collected gal. I have found so far during this adoption process the mix of work, adoption and volunteer work is volatile for my emotions. The other week I was enjoying a wonderful community parade and among the joy found myself crying with grief. We are just beginning the "hurry up and wait" process which will go on for at least a year, if not longer.
This week is full of adoption activities. We are finalizing our references. I will touch base with our case worker. I call Jamaica, again, to find out if our pre-adoption application has been approved. It has been four weeks since we faxed our initial application. If the approval is not yet ready, I will continue to call weekly until I get an answer. I also am planning details for our fundraiser in late June so I will remain busy.
Just breathe - in, out...in, out. I can and will survive this. At the end of the leg of this journey, my arms will be wrapped around a child requiring love and acceptance. I do not expect to be loved backed nor be appreciated nor even liked. I have this strong desire to love a child and provide an opportunity for the child to become a productive adult who empathizes with others.
Peace,
Jocelyne
This week is full of adoption activities. We are finalizing our references. I will touch base with our case worker. I call Jamaica, again, to find out if our pre-adoption application has been approved. It has been four weeks since we faxed our initial application. If the approval is not yet ready, I will continue to call weekly until I get an answer. I also am planning details for our fundraiser in late June so I will remain busy.
Just breathe - in, out...in, out. I can and will survive this. At the end of the leg of this journey, my arms will be wrapped around a child requiring love and acceptance. I do not expect to be loved backed nor be appreciated nor even liked. I have this strong desire to love a child and provide an opportunity for the child to become a productive adult who empathizes with others.
Peace,
Jocelyne
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Mother's Day
Tomorrow is Mother's Day 2010. It varies from year to year if the day will be difficult, just another day or a day of joy. This year is difficult. Now that we are in the middle of the adoption process, I know my child is out there, somewhere, and I do not have any information or even a photograph. We were hoping to receive our first Jamaican approval this past week, but we have to wait at least another three weeks. At that time, we will find out if there are any children available.
My sister gets to celebrate Mother's Day for the first time with her lovely child. I adore my niece and give her lots of love anytime we are together. Now I have a nephew on my husband's side to love. I adore other people's children, also, but I still have empty arms. It is not just Mother's Day, but Christmas, Halloween and Easter are now difficult as I watch the wonder of all the children around me. One family at church was able to adopt internationally in seven months and just got their sweet little girl home. I have three friends expecting babies in August, one with twins. I realize I am at an age when most of my friends are starting or expanding their families. Many of my friends who have children my age are now becoming grandparents. For now, I pray, I wait, and I lavish love on my niece and nephew. One day I will relish the joy of Mother's Day once again. At least I have a loving mother who I cherish greatly and a mother-in-law I love.
My sister gets to celebrate Mother's Day for the first time with her lovely child. I adore my niece and give her lots of love anytime we are together. Now I have a nephew on my husband's side to love. I adore other people's children, also, but I still have empty arms. It is not just Mother's Day, but Christmas, Halloween and Easter are now difficult as I watch the wonder of all the children around me. One family at church was able to adopt internationally in seven months and just got their sweet little girl home. I have three friends expecting babies in August, one with twins. I realize I am at an age when most of my friends are starting or expanding their families. Many of my friends who have children my age are now becoming grandparents. For now, I pray, I wait, and I lavish love on my niece and nephew. One day I will relish the joy of Mother's Day once again. At least I have a loving mother who I cherish greatly and a mother-in-law I love.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
"More Paperwork"
I knew I would hear "more paperwork is needed" during our adoption process and a phrase I should become accustomed to hearing for now until the finalization. This week it seems to be the catch phrase. We were requested to submit additional paperwork after getting confirmation that we had all the necessary. We have friends in the process of bringing their child home from Africa and they are waiting on paperwork to be processed before they can fly home.
We have years of "more paperwork" - more paperwork for the US government, more paperwork for the Jamaican government, more paperwork for the home study, more paperwork for the judge. All we want is to bring children into our lives, give them love, stability, discipline and security. I intellectually know that each adoption is unique, but during these times of "more paperwork" I wish there was a clearer checklist of all that is needed for each step. With so few adoptions out of Jamaica, it is expected there are unknowns in the process on the Jamaican side. We did expect our home study agency to have a clear checklist which we went through and confirmed our paperwork was complete; then we were told "more paperwork" is needed. I might as well as resign myself to hearing "more paperwork" since it will be used often. Maybe our experience will help others just beginning their Adoption Adventures.
We have years of "more paperwork" - more paperwork for the US government, more paperwork for the Jamaican government, more paperwork for the home study, more paperwork for the judge. All we want is to bring children into our lives, give them love, stability, discipline and security. I intellectually know that each adoption is unique, but during these times of "more paperwork" I wish there was a clearer checklist of all that is needed for each step. With so few adoptions out of Jamaica, it is expected there are unknowns in the process on the Jamaican side. We did expect our home study agency to have a clear checklist which we went through and confirmed our paperwork was complete; then we were told "more paperwork" is needed. I might as well as resign myself to hearing "more paperwork" since it will be used often. Maybe our experience will help others just beginning their Adoption Adventures.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Nearing End of Initial Paperwork
Our parenting classes are completed. I get our medical forms notarized Thursday and that will be the end of our initial paperwork. Next comes questions about each other from our caseworker, a second visit to our home and fingerprinting at the immigration office. Then our homestudy will be ready to submit to USCIS for our four to six month wait for approval.
In less than nine months I will meet the one to three children that will become ours. Mom will be traveling with me. She has been a major support for our adoption dream and she will be a steady rock during the emotional time of being matched with our family.
As part of this journey, we are looking for a new home to raise our family. This week we put in offer on what we hope will become our new home. If we get to move prior to October, God will have greatly blessed us.
I keep telling myself, "God has provided the caseworker, the lawyer, the judge and the orphanage. We just need the home and the children." It is falling into place better than any plan I could develop; all will happen with God's timing.
In less than nine months I will meet the one to three children that will become ours. Mom will be traveling with me. She has been a major support for our adoption dream and she will be a steady rock during the emotional time of being matched with our family.
As part of this journey, we are looking for a new home to raise our family. This week we put in offer on what we hope will become our new home. If we get to move prior to October, God will have greatly blessed us.
I keep telling myself, "God has provided the caseworker, the lawyer, the judge and the orphanage. We just need the home and the children." It is falling into place better than any plan I could develop; all will happen with God's timing.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Baby Steps
We are working through the last ofthe our paperwork we need to submit to our case worker - our medical forms and my husband's employment verification. We are slowly completing the parenting education courses. Many of the questions seem to overlap from one class to another and my husband feels tortured by repetiviness. He commented the other day that "it is much easier to make a baby". Yes, people giving birth are not required to take parenting classes or "prove" themselves as parents. I remind him we are already good parents, we just do not have children and we just have to write down everything we already know. We might actually learn something new along the way.
We are experiencing the joy of bringing a child home through another family at church. They are bringing their long awaited daughter home from the Congo next month. One day, we will be preparing to bring our child or children home.
We are experiencing the joy of bringing a child home through another family at church. They are bringing their long awaited daughter home from the Congo next month. One day, we will be preparing to bring our child or children home.
Monday, March 15, 2010
It's Happening
We had our first home study meeting today - met the case worker, reviewed the paperwork, signed many sheets of paper, created a To Do list and signed a big check. We have most of our paperwork filled out, we just need the employment verification and the medical statements from our doctors then we take the parenting classes and get our fingerprints taken once we have an appointment with immigration. The paper trail has begun! And we have to send our Pre-Adoption Application to Jamaica.
Our first adoption fundraiser is scheduled for June 26 at Shelton United Methodist Church, 6 pm to 8 pm. Entertainment by Swing Fever who are excited to play for us. A video from Embracing Orphans showcasing the Blossom Gardens orphanage will be shared.
Now we just see how long it takes to get all the paperwork and processing done by the US government. All will happen in God's time.
Our first adoption fundraiser is scheduled for June 26 at Shelton United Methodist Church, 6 pm to 8 pm. Entertainment by Swing Fever who are excited to play for us. A video from Embracing Orphans showcasing the Blossom Gardens orphanage will be shared.
Now we just see how long it takes to get all the paperwork and processing done by the US government. All will happen in God's time.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Next Steps
Tomorrow we schedule our first meeting with our home study case worker. Tonight I met with Swing Fever out of Belfair to discuss a fundraising event. They agreed to perform to help us bring our child(ren) home. I am planning an evening of swing music, our adoption story and the story of Blossom Gardens along with some sweets. Just need to find a date for this event.
Something deep in my soul, maybe God's voice, that hints we will be bringing home more than one child. My dear husband has decided he trusts me fully to decide which children are to become ours by not going to Jamaica with me. Yes, it saves us money by sending just one of us on the first trip, but I was looking forward to falling in love with the children at Blossom Gardens together. Instead, I will share photos and video with him from a distance. We are looking into having either other family members (the future grandparents) or part of our church family join me on this momentous trip. So many steps just to get to the first trip.
May peace reside in your hearts.
Something deep in my soul, maybe God's voice, that hints we will be bringing home more than one child. My dear husband has decided he trusts me fully to decide which children are to become ours by not going to Jamaica with me. Yes, it saves us money by sending just one of us on the first trip, but I was looking forward to falling in love with the children at Blossom Gardens together. Instead, I will share photos and video with him from a distance. We are looking into having either other family members (the future grandparents) or part of our church family join me on this momentous trip. So many steps just to get to the first trip.
May peace reside in your hearts.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
New Beginnings
As we approach a new year, I comtemplate the various new beginnings 2010 brings. A new job position, a new home, a sister's marriage and steps towards parenthood. Our house goes on the market, we have three potential homes for our new place, the initial homestudy paperwork is nearly done and I am faithfully following the events of Embracing Orphans during their Christmas trip to Jamaica. I wonder if any of the children Carl describes may be the child God has chosen for us to parent. He has described the aching hearts of three young sisters or the two new boys at Blossom Gardens. There are so many other children at Blossom Gardens I do not know if God has more than one child planned for us.
If we could pull it off financially, I would plan to go to Jamaica this summer to meet my future child(ren). Baby steps and God's timing. Right now, the most overwhelming aspect is the amounty of money we have to come up within the next three months, than more by June and even more by December. January brings fundraising planning. Any ideas would be a Godsend. May God bless you in 2010.
If we could pull it off financially, I would plan to go to Jamaica this summer to meet my future child(ren). Baby steps and God's timing. Right now, the most overwhelming aspect is the amounty of money we have to come up within the next three months, than more by June and even more by December. January brings fundraising planning. Any ideas would be a Godsend. May God bless you in 2010.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Time of Excitement
We have barely started along the path to adoption and I am so full of joy right now. I know this will not last as time drags on and we continue the wait to bring a child home. I do not know how I will feel in a month, six months or a year. This time next year we will be finalizing our plans for our first trip to Jamaica. I know I will eventually come off this excitement high, but I don't know how far my emotions will fall. For now I will ride this wave of excitement that will carry me through the Christmas season.
This anticipation is similar to waiting for the holy child, the messiah. Not knowing when the child will arrive and what God has planned for us all. Whatever may come will be for his glory.
This anticipation is similar to waiting for the holy child, the messiah. Not knowing when the child will arrive and what God has planned for us all. Whatever may come will be for his glory.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Adoption Lawyer
We have found an adoption lawyer. We have been having trouble finding a lawyer in the Olympia area willing to take our case since it is an independent international adoption.
My husband and I went with my mother and sister to visit my youngest sister at work. One of her close friends, Jill, and Jill's family were there enjoying tea. Jill's father, Art Klym, is a family law lawyer. I asked him if he had recommendations for a lawyer and he offered his services. He has done similar adoptions and even has a home study contact. God brought us together so we may bring our child home. It was an ordinary miracle, an event that many believe is just coincident, but really was allowed by God to happen so his larger plan may unfold. It will be a miracle if this adoption goes smoothly; I just know that God will be at my side through the joys and the frustrations.
My husband and I went with my mother and sister to visit my youngest sister at work. One of her close friends, Jill, and Jill's family were there enjoying tea. Jill's father, Art Klym, is a family law lawyer. I asked him if he had recommendations for a lawyer and he offered his services. He has done similar adoptions and even has a home study contact. God brought us together so we may bring our child home. It was an ordinary miracle, an event that many believe is just coincident, but really was allowed by God to happen so his larger plan may unfold. It will be a miracle if this adoption goes smoothly; I just know that God will be at my side through the joys and the frustrations.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Beginning the Journey
My husband and I are in the beginnings of our adoption journey. After finally deciding we want children after ten years of marriage, we have chosen Blossom Gardens in Montego Bay, Jamaica as the location of our forever child. I new Olympia was small town even with 250,000 people, but I did not realize it would be difficult to find an adoption lawyer. Granted our adoption situation is rare - independent international adoption - but we are not unique. We will eventually find that special lawyer who will help us with expanding our family. After Thanksgiving I will begin interviewing home study agencies. The decision has been made finally and our lives will never be the same.
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