Pondering if we should seriously consider starting a second adoption process, this time from the US foster care system, while we progress through the Jamaican adoption process. It may be three or more years before we bring home our Jamaican child. I can handle waiting two years for a child, but three or more I do not think I can remain motherless that long. It looks like it will be one or more years before we get matched with a child then another two years before we bring the child home. It could take several years to adopt from the foster care system, also.It is hard to watch other families get matched immediately and bring their children home in less than two years, sometimes less than one year.
Someone this weekend, possibly my sister, said, "You should have started the process sooner." That does not make enduring the process any easier. My sister endured three years of trying to get pregnant and I watched her deal with the disappointment during that time of trying. Our wait may be just as long or longer. While I won't endure month after month of disappointments, but a long time of not knowing when we get to bring our child home.
Patience - a difficult lesson that is difficult to endure when my heart longs for something that the Lord planted in my heart. I know He will follow through on his promise of children, I just do not know when the promise will be fulfilled. I continue to pray for patience and peace to endure the wait. I pray, I persevere, I endure, I do what is required to meet the adoption requirements and to prepare our home for our child. Some day I will introduce a child as "my child".
My child, I wait for the day I can hold you. The Lord has you chosen for our family. He chose us to be your parents. You are a beloved child of God and we will be blessed to be your parents. One day I will tell you, "I love you." One day I will introduce you as "my child". One I will hold you in my arms and tell you "I am proud to be your mother".
My child, I wait. I wait to see your photo for the first time. I wait to meet you. I wait to bring you home. I wait to teach you. I wait to hear you say, "I love you, mommy." I wait.