Isaiah 1:17 New Revised Standard Version
"learn to do good; seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow"
Our adoption home study was completed December 21 and December 22 we got a call to begin visitation for two little boys on December 28. It was two crazy days to prepare for the trip and for Christmas. We traveled two days after Christmas with high hopes, all excited to meet our potential future children. We didn't quite know what to expect.
After an 8 hour drive, we settled into our hotel room then prepared for our meeting with DSHS and with the boys the next day. This led to the first fight that my dear husband and I had in several years; it was a doozy, but we came to an understanding to be open minded during the rest of the week.
The next morning we met with the caseworker for about 45 minutes then met the boys with their foster mom. Our nine-hour visit extended across several situations - DSHS visitation room, a walk outside, lunch at a fast food restaurant and many hours at the foster parents' home. We experienced firsthand the joys and needs of the boys. The day was special, educational and eye-opening. That evening, my husband and I had a long conversation late into the night about the needs of the children, our ability to meet their needs and our expectations of parenthood.
The second morning there was a family team decision meeting. On the way to this meeting, we finally decided what our answer would be if we were asked if we would parent the boys. These boys are distant relatives of mine so other family members were present at the meeting who did not know our decision. My husband and I made a very difficult and heartbreaking decision that we could not provide for the long term needs of the boys.
We know our decision is extremely painful and difficult for my relatives to accept, but we had to do what we thought was in the best interest of the boys. They are currently in a good home, having their needs well met and are loved by many. I will continue to pray for the boys as their case is still to be decided.
Today we are emotionally recovering from this past week. We have learned a lot about ourselves and the type of child we are comfortable parenting. We have decided a single older child would be more suitable for us. With the new year, we will prayerfully search for the child God has chosen for our family.
Our adoption journey continues, but we are wiser from our experiences of 2011. Our marriage is still strong and united. We will continue to pray, discern, and learn during 2012.