Okay, I take pride in being a calm, collected gal. I have found so far during this adoption process the mix of work, adoption and volunteer work is volatile for my emotions. The other week I was enjoying a wonderful community parade and among the joy found myself crying with grief. We are just beginning the "hurry up and wait" process which will go on for at least a year, if not longer.
This week is full of adoption activities. We are finalizing our references. I will touch base with our case worker. I call Jamaica, again, to find out if our pre-adoption application has been approved. It has been four weeks since we faxed our initial application. If the approval is not yet ready, I will continue to call weekly until I get an answer. I also am planning details for our fundraiser in late June so I will remain busy.
Just breathe - in, out...in, out. I can and will survive this. At the end of the leg of this journey, my arms will be wrapped around a child requiring love and acceptance. I do not expect to be loved backed nor be appreciated nor even liked. I have this strong desire to love a child and provide an opportunity for the child to become a productive adult who empathizes with others.