We are down to the last 17 days until Junior legally becomes our son. All the paperwork has been signed by us, the state and the lawyer and submitted to the judge. We have to show up to court on August 23 to state we will raise Junior to adulthood and treat him as a part of the family then Judge Spanner will sign our adoption papers. Then we get to celebrate many times over for a week!
Junior is excited about accepting our last name as his. He is beginning to lay claim to us after a year. The past two weeks we have been painting and redecorating his bedroom, making it reflect his personality and helping him feel he has a permanent place in our home. His room currently has two green walls, the other two walls will become gold and the curtains, shelves and rug are black. The comforter and dresser accents are red. It dawned on me while purchasing the curtains that the green, gold and black are the colors of the Jamaican flag, the country of origin where we began our adoption journey. While we did not complete our Jamaican journey, God led us down the foster-adopt path which I was trying to avoid with all my might, but I finally handed our journey to Him. It has been a roller coaster ride for three years and a great lesson in patience. I was needing to learn patience so the Lord made sure I got a 3-year lesson.
Our journey has, also, been a lesson in acceptance. I have had to learn to accept Junior's biological family and the contact we have established for Junior's sake. Our family has grown to include his biological family, not just his biological parents, but his sister, his grandmother, his aunts, his cousins, and other extended family plus family friends that have been integral in his life.
The Lord has truly blessed us by bringing our families together last August. In 17 days, we will legally be a family through an amazing 13 year old. A 13 year old who leaves his socks all over the place; who has to be reminded to do his chore list; who cannot remember to do homework from the time he leaves school to the time he arrives home 30 minutes later; who wears clean, wrinkled clothes out of the clean laundry basket instead of putting his clothes away. A 13 year old who does not wear a coat when it is freezing out; who goes barefoot just about everywhere year round. A 13 year old who is helpful, caring and fun loving. We were matched with our God-chosen child after many, many prayers.
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Monday, August 5, 2013
Friday, August 3, 2012
Matching Process
We are in the unique matching process of trying to find our forever child. We have inquired on 16 youth so far, all age 10 to 17. One youth has been placed with his forever family. Another youth, we reviewed his file after talking with his caseworker and decided we were not a match. We are being considered for a third youth. There are many steps before we know if the youth's caseworker thinks we are a potential match then we have to review the disclosure file to decide if we want to continue forward.
Last weekend I read an article that some families have to inquire about 100 children/youth before they are matched. Others have had to inquire on 30 children/youth a month for several months until they are contacted about their match. While we have inquired about 16 and have eliminated two so far, waiting to find out more information about one, there are 13 others on our list that we are still waiting to hear about. This could be a long drawn out process as matching could take several months then we need to meet our child. Our caseworker is hoping to hear from the caseworkers of the other youth within the next two weeks, if we are going to hear from them.
Patience and prayers are still needed as we slowly work through this process.
Habakkuk 2:3 RSV
"For still the vision awaits its time; it hastens to the end--it will not lie. If it seem slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay."
Psalm 39:7 NRS
"And now, O Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you."
Daniel 2:21b-23a NIV
"...he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you..."
Last weekend I read an article that some families have to inquire about 100 children/youth before they are matched. Others have had to inquire on 30 children/youth a month for several months until they are contacted about their match. While we have inquired about 16 and have eliminated two so far, waiting to find out more information about one, there are 13 others on our list that we are still waiting to hear about. This could be a long drawn out process as matching could take several months then we need to meet our child. Our caseworker is hoping to hear from the caseworkers of the other youth within the next two weeks, if we are going to hear from them.
Patience and prayers are still needed as we slowly work through this process.
Habakkuk 2:3 RSV
"For still the vision awaits its time; it hastens to the end--it will not lie. If it seem slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay."
Psalm 39:7 NRS
"And now, O Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you."
Daniel 2:21b-23a NIV
"...he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you..."
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Romans 8:25
Romans 8:25 New Revised Standard
"But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience"
As we progress through the adoption process, I have been hoping and praying and asking the Lord for patience. I do not know how our journey will end, what turns our path will take or what adventures we may experience along the way.
It has seemed like a very slow process. I am trying to contact all people I can in DSHS throughout Washington State to determine who may be the best people to help us get a child placed in our home. I have found a caseworker in another county to be very helpful. I have a lead on a Foster Child Placement Coordinator who returns in November who might be able to help match us with a child who is either legally free or nearly legally free. We are waiting for our fingerprints to be processed so our caseworker will make set our first meeting. She has been willing to meet with other families before their prints have been completed, but she has not wanted to meet with us until our prints are processed.
Perseverance, patience and passion will get us through this process. And I hope to be able to identify some changes that need to be made in our local foster care system to better serve the children in care. I came across a 2002 study that children spend on average 43 months in foster care. Nearly four years of a child's life is a long time for any child, but especially a child who has experienced chaos, abuse, and/or neglect before experience temporary family life in foster care. Children deserve permanency sooner - either with their original family or with an adoptive family. Every child deserves to have a family that cares about their milestones - first loose tooth, sporting events, school events, birthdays, dances, holidays, first date, driver license, graduation, first job, first house, significant relationship/marriage, and children of their own. Even teens who are not adopted need a permanent family to call their own willing to remain family for the rest of their lives.
With God's strength, I will persevere through this process. With His strength, I will have the grace and patience to deal with the bureaucracy of the adoption process. The child God has chosen for us is out there waiting for a forever family just as we are waiting for the child. I know in my heart all good happens in God's time, but waiting can be extremely difficult, especially when one sees injustice occurring to children. While we wait, I will do what I can to help children waiting in Washington State.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Chaos Without Children
Our adoption adventure is turning into a roller coaster mainly due to unexpected conditions regarding our move to the "new" house. We got the keys Monday night after two trips to the house and a few phone calls. Once my husband went in today he discovered problems with the electrical system and missing plumbing. Turns out the house was vandalized some time in January and we just found out about it tonight! The thieves took copper wiring and a few inches of copper plumbing, probably someone looking for quick cash for a drug hit. The seller had a contractor check the house - he only noticed the electrical problem and redid the wiring and changed all the locks. He forgot to reconnect the furnace to the thermostat so it currently cannot be controlled. He did not look upstairs so he was not aware there were missing coppering tubing in the upstairs bathroom. The water got turned on yesterday and water flowed from the hole in the wall as the plumbing was not connected to the sink. We have a bit of a mess in the bathroom to clean up. The seller is suppose to send an electrician and a plumber to correct the problems. Then we will change the locks again and get dead bolts.
We began moving furniture into the house today. Wednesday we get our fridge and cable installed. We pick up our new furniture later this week and hope to be living in the house by Friday night. Thursday night and Saturday will be big move times.
I am anxious to begin nesting - preparing our child's bedroom, setting up the living room and making a study area for our child. We need to get unpacked in order for me to begin the nesting process.
We got our background clearance from USCIS/Homeland Security for the international adoption. I am still waiting for my State Patrol clearance letter, should arrive in a week or two. Once the background checks are completed we can begin the interview process with the DSHS caseworker then the house inspection. Once the paperwork is all done for this stage, we will then submit to the child's caseworker.
I am trying to not get attached to a particular child, but there is one young girl who seems destined to be "my child". It is the same feeling I got when I realized God had chosen Mike to be my husband even when I was not looking for a spouse (I was 16 years old). For now, I pray, prepare and wait. All will be done in God's time.
I found this prayer online the other night. It is a prayer for all children in our lives and in the world. It pulled my heartstrings and filled my mind with thoughts of the children in foster care and the orphans in Jamaica and the Congo. Love the children in your life, comfort children you encounter and pray for the children with no one.
A Prayer for Children
by Ina J Hughs
We pray for children
who sneak popsicles before supper,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghost stories,
who can never find their shoes.
And we pray for those
who stare at photographers behind barbed wire,
who can’t bound down the street in a pair of new sneakers,
who are born in places we wouldn’t be caught dead,
who never go to the circus who live in an X-rated world.
We pray for children
who sleep with the dog and bury the goldfish
who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.
And we pray for those
who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents watch them die,
who can’t find any bread to steal,
who don’t have any rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser,
whose monsters are real.
We pray for children
who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed, and never rinse out the tub,
who don’t like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church or temple and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at and
whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those
whose nightmares come in the daytime,
who will eat anything,
who have never seen a dentist,
who aren’t spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for children who want to be carried
and for those who must,
for those we never give up on and
for those who don’t get a second chance.
For those we smother...
and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.
We began moving furniture into the house today. Wednesday we get our fridge and cable installed. We pick up our new furniture later this week and hope to be living in the house by Friday night. Thursday night and Saturday will be big move times.
I am anxious to begin nesting - preparing our child's bedroom, setting up the living room and making a study area for our child. We need to get unpacked in order for me to begin the nesting process.
We got our background clearance from USCIS/Homeland Security for the international adoption. I am still waiting for my State Patrol clearance letter, should arrive in a week or two. Once the background checks are completed we can begin the interview process with the DSHS caseworker then the house inspection. Once the paperwork is all done for this stage, we will then submit to the child's caseworker.
I am trying to not get attached to a particular child, but there is one young girl who seems destined to be "my child". It is the same feeling I got when I realized God had chosen Mike to be my husband even when I was not looking for a spouse (I was 16 years old). For now, I pray, prepare and wait. All will be done in God's time.
I found this prayer online the other night. It is a prayer for all children in our lives and in the world. It pulled my heartstrings and filled my mind with thoughts of the children in foster care and the orphans in Jamaica and the Congo. Love the children in your life, comfort children you encounter and pray for the children with no one.
A Prayer for Children
by Ina J Hughs
We pray for children
who sneak popsicles before supper,
who erase holes in math workbooks,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghost stories,
who can never find their shoes.
And we pray for those
who stare at photographers behind barbed wire,
who can’t bound down the street in a pair of new sneakers,
who are born in places we wouldn’t be caught dead,
who never go to the circus who live in an X-rated world.
We pray for children
who sleep with the dog and bury the goldfish
who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
who get visits from the tooth fairy,
who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.
And we pray for those
who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents watch them die,
who can’t find any bread to steal,
who don’t have any rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser,
whose monsters are real.
We pray for children
who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed, and never rinse out the tub,
who don’t like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church or temple and scream in the phone,
whose tears we sometimes laugh at and
whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those
whose nightmares come in the daytime,
who will eat anything,
who have never seen a dentist,
who aren’t spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for children who want to be carried
and for those who must,
for those we never give up on and
for those who don’t get a second chance.
For those we smother...
and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Emotional Roller Coaster
Okay, I take pride in being a calm, collected gal. I have found so far during this adoption process the mix of work, adoption and volunteer work is volatile for my emotions. The other week I was enjoying a wonderful community parade and among the joy found myself crying with grief. We are just beginning the "hurry up and wait" process which will go on for at least a year, if not longer.
This week is full of adoption activities. We are finalizing our references. I will touch base with our case worker. I call Jamaica, again, to find out if our pre-adoption application has been approved. It has been four weeks since we faxed our initial application. If the approval is not yet ready, I will continue to call weekly until I get an answer. I also am planning details for our fundraiser in late June so I will remain busy.
Just breathe - in, out...in, out. I can and will survive this. At the end of the leg of this journey, my arms will be wrapped around a child requiring love and acceptance. I do not expect to be loved backed nor be appreciated nor even liked. I have this strong desire to love a child and provide an opportunity for the child to become a productive adult who empathizes with others.
Peace,
Jocelyne
This week is full of adoption activities. We are finalizing our references. I will touch base with our case worker. I call Jamaica, again, to find out if our pre-adoption application has been approved. It has been four weeks since we faxed our initial application. If the approval is not yet ready, I will continue to call weekly until I get an answer. I also am planning details for our fundraiser in late June so I will remain busy.
Just breathe - in, out...in, out. I can and will survive this. At the end of the leg of this journey, my arms will be wrapped around a child requiring love and acceptance. I do not expect to be loved backed nor be appreciated nor even liked. I have this strong desire to love a child and provide an opportunity for the child to become a productive adult who empathizes with others.
Peace,
Jocelyne
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