Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Licensed Parenting

We finally got our letter from DSHS stating they have received our foster home license application and that they hope to have us licensed within 90 days. But - there could be a delay with the licensor's retirement as of April 20. No mention of how they plan to re-assign our case or contact information for someone once the licensor leaves the office. Luckily, I do have the phone number of his supervisor, but this leaves me hurt and frustrated.
The pain in my heart is overshadowing the sunshine we are experiencing amidst the winter like weather. I cannot focus on anything, but my desire to have a child. The foster care system still has many flaws. The focus of Washington State is to reunite children with their families which is ideal if those families can provide shelter, food, education and safety. There are many children in foster care who have been in state care for years, but parental rights are still not terminated while children wait for stability and a permanent home. It angers me to know there are thousands of children who need homes and we are a home needing children, but the hoops we have to jump through seem outrages while there are women out there still having children who have had them all removed from her custody.

Our lives have been exposed every aspect of our lives on paper - medical, financial, upbringing, personal, professional, educational, friendships, pets, home, spiritual - to prove we will be good parents. We still have to discuss all these aspects with the licensor and have our home inspected to make sure it complies with the foster home laws and will be a safe place for our child. Once we do all that, we then submit our paperwork to another state hoping they decide we are the ideal parents for a child legally free and waiting for a permanent home. It is during all this that I am in favor of all prospective parents (biological or adoptive) being required to attend parenting classes and receive a license prior to being allowed to have a child in the home. I know many biological parents oppose this idea, but those of us who have to go through this process in order to adopt, we would like to share the exposure.

Intellectually I understand the reasons for the scrutiny of adoptive parents, but when the heart aches for a child, intellect is overruled by emotions. My husband has found that logic is even overruled by my emotions. Getting angry at the delays of our home study are not logical as the home study will most likely be completed by the end of summer. At this time, I do not care about logic or intellect, we are dealing with matters of a mother's heart. I have a fully equipped child's room waiting for a child. I have toys, books, games, movies and music waiting for a child. I have arms aching for a child.

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