Emotional Roller Coaster

Okay, I take pride in being a calm, collected gal. I have found so far during this adoption process the mix of work, adoption and volunteer work is volatile for my emotions. The other week I was enjoying a wonderful community parade and among the joy found myself crying with grief. We are just beginning the "hurry up and wait" process which will go on for at least a year, if not longer.

This week is full of adoption activities. We are finalizing our references. I will touch base with our case worker. I call Jamaica, again, to find out if our pre-adoption application has been approved. It has been four weeks since we faxed our initial application. If the approval is not yet ready, I will continue to call weekly until I get an answer. I also am planning details for our fundraiser in late June so I will remain busy.

Just breathe - in, out...in, out. I can and will survive this. At the end of the leg of this journey, my arms will be wrapped around a child requiring love and acceptance. I do not expect to be loved backed nor be appreciated nor even liked. I have this strong desire to love a child and provide an opportunity for the child to become a productive adult who empathizes with others.

Peace,
Jocelyne

Mother's Day

Tomorrow is Mother's Day 2010. It varies from year to year if the day will be difficult, just another day or a day of joy. This year is difficult. Now that we are in the middle of the adoption process, I know my child is out there, somewhere, and I do not have any information or even a photograph. We were hoping to receive our first Jamaican approval this past week, but we have to wait at least another three weeks. At that time, we will find out if there are any children available.

My sister gets to celebrate Mother's Day for the first time with her lovely child. I adore my niece and give her lots of love anytime we are together. Now I have a nephew on my husband's side to love. I adore other people's children, also, but I still have empty arms. It is not just Mother's Day, but Christmas, Halloween and Easter are now difficult as I watch the wonder of all the children around me. One family at church was able to adopt internationally in seven months and just got their sweet little girl home. I have three friends expecting babies in August, one with twins. I realize I am at an age when most of my friends are starting or expanding their families. Many of my friends who have children my age are now becoming grandparents. For now, I pray, I wait, and I lavish love on my niece and nephew. One day I will relish the joy of Mother's Day once again. At least I have a loving mother who I cherish greatly and a mother-in-law I love.

"More Paperwork"

I knew I would hear "more paperwork is needed" during our adoption process and a phrase I should become accustomed to hearing for now until the finalization. This week it seems to be the catch phrase. We were requested to submit additional paperwork after getting confirmation that we had all the necessary. We have friends in the process of bringing their child home from Africa and they are waiting on paperwork to be processed before they can fly home.

We have years of "more paperwork" - more paperwork for the US government, more paperwork for the Jamaican government, more paperwork for the home study, more paperwork for the judge. All we want is to bring children into our lives, give them love, stability, discipline and security. I intellectually know that each adoption is unique, but during these times of "more paperwork" I wish there was a clearer checklist of all that is needed for each step. With so few adoptions out of Jamaica, it is expected there are unknowns in the process on the Jamaican side. We did expect our home study agency to have a clear checklist which we went through and confirmed our paperwork was complete; then we were told "more paperwork" is needed. I might as well as resign myself to hearing "more paperwork" since it will be used often. Maybe our experience will help others just beginning their Adoption Adventures.

Nearing End of Initial Paperwork

Our parenting classes are completed. I get our medical forms notarized Thursday and that will be the end of our initial paperwork. Next comes questions about each other from our caseworker, a second visit to our home and fingerprinting at the immigration office. Then our homestudy will be ready to submit to USCIS for our four to six month wait for approval.

In less than nine months I will meet the one to three children that will become ours. Mom will be traveling with me. She has been a major support for our adoption dream and she will be a steady rock during the emotional time of being matched with our family.

As part of this journey, we are looking for a new home to raise our family. This week we put in offer on what we hope will become our new home. If we get to move prior to October, God will have greatly blessed us.

I keep telling myself, "God has provided the caseworker, the lawyer, the judge and the orphanage. We just need the home and the children." It is falling into place better than any plan I could develop; all will happen with God's timing.

Baby Steps

We are working through the last ofthe our paperwork we need to submit to our case worker - our medical forms and my husband's employment verification. We are slowly completing the parenting education courses. Many of the questions seem to overlap from one class to another and my husband feels tortured by repetiviness. He commented the other day that "it is much easier to make a baby". Yes, people giving birth are not required to take parenting classes or "prove" themselves as parents. I remind him we are already good parents, we just do not have children and we just have to write down everything we already know. We might actually learn something new along the way.

We are experiencing the joy of bringing a child home through another family at church. They are bringing their long awaited daughter home from the Congo next month. One day, we will be preparing to bring our child or children home.

It's Happening

We had our first home study meeting today - met the case worker, reviewed the paperwork, signed many sheets of paper, created a To Do list and signed a big check. We have most of our paperwork filled out, we just need the employment verification and the medical statements from our doctors then we take the parenting classes and get our fingerprints taken once we have an appointment with immigration. The paper trail has begun! And we have to send our Pre-Adoption Application to Jamaica.

Our first adoption fundraiser is scheduled for June 26 at Shelton United Methodist Church, 6 pm to 8 pm. Entertainment by Swing Fever who are excited to play for us. A video from Embracing Orphans showcasing the Blossom Gardens orphanage will be shared.

Now we just see how long it takes to get all the paperwork and processing done by the US government. All will happen in God's time.

Next Steps

Tomorrow we schedule our first meeting with our home study case worker. Tonight I met with Swing Fever out of Belfair to discuss a fundraising event. They agreed to perform to help us bring our child(ren) home. I am planning an evening of swing music, our adoption story and the story of Blossom Gardens along with some sweets. Just need to find a date for this event.

Something deep in my soul, maybe God's voice, that hints we will be bringing home more than one child. My dear husband has decided he trusts me fully to decide which children are to become ours by not going to Jamaica with me. Yes, it saves us money by sending just one of us on the first trip, but I was looking forward to falling in love with the children at Blossom Gardens together. Instead, I will share photos and video with him from a distance. We are looking into having either other family members (the future grandparents) or part of our church family join me on this momentous trip. So many steps just to get to the first trip.

May peace reside in your hearts.

New Beginnings

As we approach a new year, I comtemplate the various new beginnings 2010 brings. A new job position, a new home, a sister's marriage and steps towards parenthood. Our house goes on the market, we have three potential homes for our new place, the initial homestudy paperwork is nearly done and I am faithfully following the events of Embracing Orphans during their Christmas trip to Jamaica. I wonder if any of the children Carl describes may be the child God has chosen for us to parent. He has described the aching hearts of three young sisters or the two new boys at Blossom Gardens. There are so many other children at Blossom Gardens I do not know if God has more than one child planned for us.

If we could pull it off financially, I would plan to go to Jamaica this summer to meet my future child(ren). Baby steps and God's timing. Right now, the most overwhelming aspect is the amounty of money we have to come up within the next three months, than more by June and even more by December. January brings fundraising planning. Any ideas would be a Godsend. May God bless you in 2010.

Time of Excitement

We have barely started along the path to adoption and I am so full of joy right now. I know this will not last as time drags on and we continue the wait to bring a child home. I do not know how I will feel in a month, six months or a year. This time next year we will be finalizing our plans for our first trip to Jamaica. I know I will eventually come off this excitement high, but I don't know how far my emotions will fall. For now I will ride this wave of excitement that will carry me through the Christmas season.

This anticipation is similar to waiting for the holy child, the messiah. Not knowing when the child will arrive and what God has planned for us all. Whatever may come will be for his glory.

Adoption Lawyer

We have found an adoption lawyer. We have been having trouble finding a lawyer in the Olympia area willing to take our case since it is an independent international adoption.

My husband and I went with my mother and sister to visit my youngest sister at work. One of her close friends, Jill, and Jill's family were there enjoying tea. Jill's father, Art Klym, is a family law lawyer. I asked him if he had recommendations for a lawyer and he offered his services. He has done similar adoptions and even has a home study contact. God brought us together so we may bring our child home. It was an ordinary miracle, an event that many believe is just coincident, but really was allowed by God to happen so his larger plan may unfold. It will be a miracle if this adoption goes smoothly; I just know that God will be at my side through the joys and the frustrations.

Beginning the Journey

My husband and I are in the beginnings of our adoption journey. After finally deciding we want children after ten years of marriage, we have chosen Blossom Gardens in Montego Bay, Jamaica as the location of our forever child. I new Olympia was small town even with 250,000 people, but I did not realize it would be difficult to find an adoption lawyer. Granted our adoption situation is rare - independent international adoption - but we are not unique. We will eventually find that special lawyer who will help us with expanding our family. After Thanksgiving I will begin interviewing home study agencies. The decision has been made finally and our lives will never be the same.